Pero no!

More than once, the instability of today clouded my better judgment leading me to overthink and become a tad bit depressed. Some people who may know me might look at the day I had and chuckle, saying “Ohhhh Lucy” or probably offer me words of friendly affirmation and that probably wouldn’t help me feel better. With all that said though, today was a “regular” day for me. No judgments please, well I actually don’t care either way because I am lately learning to embrace the glorious mess (and klutz) that I am. Actually, the word klutz does not even begin to describe me. Here’s a little bit as to why.

All within the span of 24 hours, I almost crashed a car, almost fell asleep in a dressing room, and I could’ve caused someone to break their limbs on the floor of the restaurant with my mess. I may or may not be exaggerating and the keyword in these instances is almost. It all started in the morning… like all stories usually do. My lovely roommate is horrendous in the mornings. We had been apart for around 7 months so I had to get reaccustomed to her morning misery. These past two weeks, she’s been angelic enough to take me to work. Since life has it that I still don’t have my own car. However, she also has to get to work… early in the morning. Therefore since we’re temporarily living on the opposite side of the Sahara desert (Harvest/Madison area of Alabama) she’s my ride and I get up early with her.

This morning I found it fitting to just sit in the car until it would be her lunch break. Then, around that time, I would get dropped off close to the restaurant where I work and all would be fine and dandy. So, I tell her this as we’re heading into town in the morning, breaking the silence of the car and interrupting her beloved Elvis Duran show. She looks at me and answers “Mhm”. We laugh at the fact that one of the radio hosts had just discovered instant mashed potatoes (you know.. the kind where you add water and put them in the pot. I hope you know what I’m talking about…) Before I knew it we had arrived at Nat’s fancy internship job. She gets out and tells me to turn the air on with the car on. I said, “duh.” Then she said bye and I said bye.

I don’t usually get bored quickly. I had the keys to the car, I can nap, I have a book, my journal, and my phone. ‘We good right?’ No. Something I don’t understand is the weather here lately. The state of Alabama lies north of Florida. Florida is the southernmost state in the continental … it’s just hot. It’s supposed to be cooler than back home, but it’s actually worse. This car starts up by pressing the button. So I learn over from my seat and press the button to turn on the car. The car hums and hot air starts to come out of the vent. I wait little but it doesn’t cool down. I turn the thing off.  “This is such a strange thing”, I mumbled out loud. So I try to nap for a little bit. A few seconds/minutes later, I am drenched in sweat. It’s as if I just got off of the sweat shower. This feels unbearably disgusting, so I do like any rational person and lean over to turn on the car and see if the AC works better. It doesn’t. So I ponder the idea of moving the car over to some shade. I put it off for a bit, try to nap again, blast music from my phone into the aux cord, try to read, and I finally cannot take it anymore. I have the okay from Nat and so I slide over and begin to move the car. The car is in the right gear and I have my foot on the break and

So I ponder the idea of moving the car over to some shade. I put it off for a bit because I am not a good driver. I try to nap again, blast music from my phone into the aux cord, try to read, and I finally cannot take it anymore (I actually drive horribly. I got my permit around 7 months ago and have had little practice with it) but my skin was melting away like a snake in this heat. So, in order to save my life, I decided that I need to move the car into some shade. Once I have the okay from Nat and so I slide over and begin to move the car. The car is in the right gear and I have my foot on the break and so I am completely and utterly surprised and upset when I let go of the brakes and try to hit the gas and the car goes backward! There’s a car parked right behind me, we cannot have this. This is no good. I had a friend with me on the phone at the moment so she can attest that I wasn’t going crazy. Well, she can attest that this was happening.

In life, it’s usually not good to give up on things, so I tried three more times to move the car forward until I got out and saw that it was inches away from the car behind. I got so frustrated that I got out of the car, took the keys, a book, and called my dad to yell at him. There are several key things in life that I haven’t learned in my life yet. Things that parents are supposed to teach you to do and I was on the verge of tears when I could not move that car. My grandfather was the one that calmed me down. Still, I told myself I wouldn’t touch that car until she came back for her lunch break. I found some shade and was on my phone doing nothing for a bit.

An hour and some change after this happened, I get a text from her saying that she’s on her way. I meet her in the car and when she sits down I watch her closely to see if I was doing something wrong and BAMBAM, the car won’t start. She gives me a cockatoo look and says, “Did you leave the car on?” I replied, “No! Well, at least I was pretty sure I hadn’t.” She chuckles and then explains “That’s why I said to turn on the car if you were going to use the AC.” I guess she’s not too surprised because her frustration isn’t too evident. We found a sweet older man that jump-started the car and we were on our way back to my restaurant’s plaza. I explained to her my tale of woe and how I couldn’t move the car forward (only backward) and then she laughs at me again.

This entire time, the car wasn’t fully turned on. (You have to hold the button for a few seconds then you’ll hear the engine revving up). I heard a hum, not a “vroom”. Hahaha, this goes on Snapchat and I don’t know what to do with my clumsy life. I’m not really mad at this point, if I’m being honest, the situation was kind of funny, we both laughed, but I still felt bad as I always do. The events of the rest of the day unfold slowly. After being dropped off, I meandered into Ross, enjoyed the AC for a good few hours and tried on half of the clothes in the store, (more like 6 rompers) sat in the dressing room being dumb, and I left the dressing room after being startled by new customers nearby. I left with a good dose of self-loathing and negative thoughts all ready to start my shift.

When I arrived early to work, I was greeted with free food and a cold rush of air conditioning. Yet, when I clocked in, my mood was noticeably bleak. Several of my co-workers asked me what was wrong and I avoided the answer. I didn’t seem myself and tried to disguise it for a bit. I felt better slowly as the evening went on. There’s a girl at work, she’s one of my favorites. She told me, “Why should you let anything bother you for the rest of your day?” I thought about that and brightened up. It’s fun working with Hispanics, they’re silly and relatable. Since one of my favorite managers was in, the shift went quicker, smoother, and I was able to get my mind off of my ignorant and pessimistic thoughts, all until I made a mess.

I’m always making messes at work. Things drop on my watch, there are countless spills during the week, it’s pretty expected and no one usually gets mad at me for it. Sometimes, there are big messes and sometimes little messes. I get orders wrong still (even after working there for so long.) Earlier this week I dropped a huge bucket of ice for the soda machine all over the ground, counter, and galore. Anyhow, the picture has been painted. The time is around 8:40. Since we close at 9, everyone is busy cleaning and putting away food. I’m cleaning the tea basins and since I think I’m Wonder Woman sometimes, I think I’m really really strong. So strong I can pick up two aluminum tea basins half full of sweet tea by the small handles at the top. I’ve never done this before but I think I’m strong tonight and I’m in a rush. And so BOOM BOOM CHAKALATAN! One of the tea basins fell on the ground right wear one of my other favorites was mopping. I felt horrible. The mess was huge and I made more work for my friend mopping. Also, the mixed scent of tea and detergent was awful and everyone naturally stopped and stared, some people laughed, I got some towels, and I got put on Snapchat again! (I tell you, I don’t like being posted on that app. It’s not fun for me.)

We stayed a bit longer at the restaurant after closing time while I finished cleaning my dumb teas, and in fifteen minutes my favorites and I left the restaurant and headed to our homes. A mixture of country music and rap streamed from the car that was taking me home and I chuckled to myself, silently thanking God for the blessings I don’t deserve. Somehow, some way I’m blessed with patient and loving people in my life that I don’t deserve. I’ve been blessed with those that tell me, “Lucy, pero no! Chill.. relax, girl. It’ll be okay.”

x240-ztq

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*Pero no- but no

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