How you Love

I used to pester my boyfriend frequently about Love Languages. Apparently, he had never heard of love languages until I mentioned the phrase to him. (Yet, now, TikTok has coined the phrase and made it trendy, ruining the value of another of the things I found interesting).

“Hey man, what’s your love language?” I asked one afternoon eagerly, inches away from his face. 
He looked at me funny, maybe he felt thrown off by the randomness of the question. Maybe it was my hot breath and my crazy eyes so close to his face.

“I don’t know?!” What’s a love language? He comes across as aggressive every time he has a question. It didn’t bug me then. I was excited to share knowledge. Clearly, prior to me mentioning this topic to him, he’d never heard of the phrase.

There is a book written by a Christian man named Gary Chapman called, “The 5 Love Languages.” He and several others have conducted various studies on the ways that people love and receive love. Conclusively, there are 5 love languages that have a universal application. They are: Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, and Quality Time. That book has apparently over 20 million copies sold.

For each of us, one of those 5 Love Languages resonates most with our individual way of showing we love someone. We each show love in different ways. Because of that, it’s important to try to deeply know those close to us. This could help prevent dissection and confusion. Sometimes, whenever someone doesn’t show us love in the ways that we wish give it, it can hurt.

I heard of the love languages first from a friend. I think I may have lost a few of those for not understanding how they wished to be loved.

Today I read a short little book about love languages and God. Same author, same concept. It simply shared how alongside our individuality, God gave us different ways to love/show love. It goes back to worship, how we do it, who we do it for, and why: all things I’ve been wondering lately. I know I’m grateful and happy with Christianity. Yet, I’m not content with certain dogmas that come with this lately. I’m restless lately and having difficulty with accepting I’m loved: accepting the love of my God that transcends my understanding.

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