Relaxed and Relieved

 

“From the middle of August up until now, I have regrettably allowed my present circumstances to rule over my life, character, and moods. I’ve given up on being me, and in turn have become a slug… It’s pretty gross. In hopes of running away from my predicaments, I have abandoned my hobbies, passions, and the things that motivate me on my daily journey. I’ve let my complacency towards my unproductive mentality take control of how I was going to portray myself to the world. Recently, I began to really think about why I felt like this. I couldn’t come up with a good conclusion as to why, but I did realize that nothing should be able to take me away from my intended purpose in life, and nothing should steal my joy. Yes, the semester didn’t go exactly how I intended… but my God knows what He’s doing with my life. No, I don’t have a stress-free family life like some, but I love them to shreds. Yes, I’m a complicated individual and I bring issues upon myself and I make messes…(I’m working on it lol) but I’m overjoyed to be a part of my own life, and hope to be a blessing to others. Random fact. I like words. I like to define different words and google them and stuff… hehe. Anyhow, this semester I had to redefine the words stress and relief.”

Stress: 

“It’s not the stress that kills us, it’s our reaction to it.”

It isn’t the mountain ahead that wears you out; it’s the grain of sand in your shoe.”

*plus another smart stress quote*

Stress is relative. Oh, my goodness, it’s so relative… It’s very real, don’t get me wrong, but I feel that sometimes we stress out about things that we shouldn’t stress out about and other times, we don’t stress out enough. With that being said, I don’t think there are many things out there that can cause as much stress and anxiety on a college person as picking a thesis project for their graduation. Moreover, the entire graduation process is tedious, exhausting, and overwhelming…As an English major I have been on this road of thinking, picking, and choosing what I want to write about and this has happened for far more times than I can think of.

But!  As a student, I’m now enjoying this process. The stress has slowly become something beautiful because it is something that has driven me to try and put my best foot forward as I walk, as I tread my feet on this journey called life. My mind is exposed every day to new ideas, thoughts, and concepts. It’s amazing what one can learn in a short amount of time of one semester. I realized that it is utterly and completely amazing to think about different theories, methods of learning, subjects within education, stories, biographies, journeys, and endless possibilities and in all honesty, I feel that I have learned more this semester (and during the semester away) than other times in my collegiate journey. I found out then that stress can be a motivating force to push you to excel. That’s pretty neat, I appreciate that kind of stress.(:

Relief

“Life is where you’re at. Whatever you’re doing is enough. You don’t need to do everything well all the time. When you live your life like that, it’s a huge relief.”

“Love is cheering and sharing and compassion and giving and receiving. Love is an action thing more than a word thing, that brings comfort or joy or relief to anyone or anything.”

(Famous poeple like Cindy Crawford and Ziggy Marley said these quotes so they must be true… )

On that Friday, I attended the 2nd Annual Oakwood/Southern English Research Symposium. I kind you not… when I left the building, I felt as if I were floating. Why? Let me explain. So, it has been established that it is stressful to graduate, right? Well, it is a stressful manner. Due to my own absurdity, I felt dumb, but not only that, I also felt as if I were the only one going through this struggle, but it’s a beautiful thing to realize that you’re not alone in life. The Southern Seniors were struggling with their English Thesis as well… Overall, it was an amazing opportunity to be able to enhance my mind through the ideas of peers and employed educators, it’s mind-blowing and impressive to let your brain think about infinite possibilities in words, books, and the brain. Awesome right?! I hope I’m not being too boring because I’m trying to stay up while friends are attempting to play poker on the new dining room table. After two years of living in these apartment-looking-house things, we just got a table on Thursday. So, I’m excited… WHooot whoot! Hehe… Anyhow, the symposium was refreshing and relieving. I left feeling refreshed because although I still have a lot more growing to do before I am ready to go out in the world, I know that just because my path is a bit more detailed than some, this doesn’t mean I am a failure. Academically, I was starting to feel a bit better that day. Yet, my full relief came yesterday. Despite all of my stressing, over-thinking and unbelieving mentalities, my God spoke to me and gave me peace. Through Him, my stress gave me relief and my relief has motivated me to be the best version of me possible, and I wish that for every person. It was a peace that I desperately craved, and today, I feel incredibly relieved to be able to stress the importance of finding peace and keeping it.

 

*random fact #427: My sister’s dog enjoys finding mates but she always returns home. Here she came and sat on the porch for hours after we thought she was lost. Haha I guess

 

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One response to “Relaxed and Relieved”

  1. I love this, your reflections are so beautiful and so profound. You really know how to put things into words in a way that no one else does. 😍 I especially love this sentence: “I’m overjoyed to be a part of my own life, and hope to be a blessing to others.” You are definitely a blessing to me & I am so grateful for you!

    Liked by 1 person

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